In July, our kitty Lily started to sneeze. I watched her closely and she seemed to feel ok. After two weeks though, I grew concerned. The sneezing was not getting any better. When she would sneeze, large amounts of snot would come out and her poor nose was now looking raw and red. A trip to the vet was made. He tested her snot and then gave her drops and antibiotics. Things seemed to ease up a little probably with the help of the decongestant.
We went to Ireland and when we came back she was sneezing and her inner eye lid on her right eye was visible. So, we took her back to the vet. He was surprised and sent me home with a homeopathic breathing treatment. It was also not helping. So, the day the boys and I went to England, dropped her off at the vet. He put her under and tried to stick a scope up her nose to see if he could determine what was going on. Her nostril was completely blocked. He gave Superhandsome instructions that she needed a scan at a vet clinic in Paris. On returning from England, I made an appointment to take her back to the vet (Dr Haigi) that fixed her leg. From there we went ahead with the scan.
The scan was done yesterday. I left the house really early with Lily and went into Paris. I dropped her and headed to the gym. As I was on the metro headed home, the vet called me to tel me that Lily had cancer and they asked permission to do a biopsy. I immediately told them yes, to do it and I burst into tears. I cried, the ugly cry, all the way home. I was able to pull myself together enough to call Superhandsome to give him the news. The stop before I got off to go home, a very very kind soul walked toward me and handed me a packet of tissue as she was exiting the metro. Her gesture, while so small was very touching and it made me cry harder.
I cried on and off all day. I tried to distract myself by reading a book but I was not the most successful. I made a phone call to Dr Haigi and promptly burst into tears again. The clinic that preformed Lily’s scan called me to say that I could pick her up at 2pm if I wished. Which I did. I left the house in a rush to go and get her. I made it the clinic and listened to the Dr explain to me the scans that Lily had done. I wanted to rip them off that wall and ask the doctor if they were sure that this was my Lily. It had to be some mistake. But instead I listened as she tried her best to explain what was happening in Lily’s brain. Tears rolled down my checks for most of the explanation. The kind woman felt bad that her English was not ‘the best’. I told her I understood her and for that I was grateful. I knew that she was trying her best in this extremely difficult situation.
The results of the scan are frightening. The tumor which started in her nasal passage has grown and seems to be very aggressive. It has dissolved bone in at least two places and has entered the orbital of her right eye which is causing it to bulge. It is also starting to cause her face to become slightly misshapen and can be detected in her mouth visibly. It is causing her problems eating and I am sure that she has to have a horrible headache.
I explained what I could to Superhandsome by text and he asked me to take her and her results straight to Dr Haigi. It was a long trip by bus that started out in a light but steady drizzle. I grabbed my sunglasses as I ran out the door, I was not sure why until I found I had some woman openly staring at me. I pulled them down over my eyes and shut her out.
I made it to the office and tried to pull myself together to tell the staff who I was and to try and cobble together enough French to ask if Dr. Haigi could see us. It was hard because every time I think about it, tears leak out of my eyes no matter how hard I try to stop them. The front desk girl realized who I was or remembered me and was kind enough to pull me back into a exam room. I imagine that it would not be good to have me sitting in the waiting area weeping.
Dr Haigi looked over the horrid scans and said that he could do surgery and likely remove it all along with doing some reconstruction. But then he saw something that made him slow down, while there is no cancer in her lungs, there is suspect mass in her abdomen. He gave Lily some anti-inflammatories and told me that we had to wait for the biopsy report before anything could be done. So, now we wait.
The thought of loosing Lily is devastating. Lily and I spend our days often in different parts of the house. She is often downstairs curled up on one of the boys beds. When it was just her and I with Chip, they often followed me around the house during the day. When Cèci came she started to spend more time downstairs. Cèci often wants to play and chases Lily, Lily likes to play on her own terms and chase is not her preference at all. They do occasionally play, but it has happened less and less often and I guess I know why now. It’s hard to want to play when you have a massive headache all the time.
From a young age, in England, Lily spent her nights each with different boys. She cycled between each of their rooms. When we moved to France, she was free to sleep with whomever she wanted to. I would leave our door cracked open in hopes that might want to sleep with us. She would occasionally, but not often. A few times she came up on the bed and Chip would be grumpy and growl at her so she would leave. Instead she always came to visit us when we were getting ready for bed. She starts out the night with Sunshine Boy, then she will come and say her goodnights to us and then go on to sleep with whomever she decided to visit or whomever needed her the most. I have noticed that she does know who is having troubles or would benefit the most from her quiet presence. This spring my oldest son was having a very hard time and she has stuck very close with him, spending many nights with him. My wonder, sweet precious Lily, has bonded with all my boys and she loves them all a lot. She knows and goes where she is needed. She and I take care of our boys. Lily will even sleep with Superhandsome when the boys and I are not here. I can’t imagine our life without Lily. And right now, all I can do is wait for the answer that will tell us how much longer we may have left with her. My heart, our hearts are breaking.We don’t want to think of life with out our precious Lily.